"Weirder Than Weird" 18 Bizarre Tales From a Disturbed Mind Read online

The last rays of red and orange painted the distant horizon and finally settled into darkness. Another hot and dusty day on the trail had finally come to a close. A noisy clump of cattle stood nearby grazing on sparse desert grass as two tired cowboys prepared to bunk down for the night. Mike stretched out on his bed roll and stared up at the star filled sky while Buster stirred away at a pan of beans. A wolf’s howl could be heard in the distance, which got Buster thinking about what had happened earlier that day.

  “Mike…” Buster took a long pause then shook his head. “Ah, never mind…it’s probably just the heat gettin to me.”

  Mike rolled over onto his side. “Spit it out, Buster…we ain’t got nothin but time. What’s on your mind?”

  The cowboy stopped his stirring and shrugged. “Well…did you happen to hear anything strange on the trail today, Mike? Kinda like laughter maybe? I mean, I coulda swore that I heard someone laughing, you know, a crazy sort of laugh, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure where it was comin’ from.”

  There was a long silence as Mike considered what Buster had said then a moment later he blurted out the name “JEDIDIAH!”

  Buster looked up from his beans. “What’d you say?”

  “The laughter you heard…more than likely that was old Jedidiah! You ain’t never heard of the legend of Jedidiah Crane?”

  Mike suddenly remembered that Buster had only worked for the ranch a few short months and wasn’t familiar with the territory or its history. Mike sat up and plucked a blade of grass from the ground and set it between his teeth. “Well then my friend, let me acquaint you with some of our colorful folk lore… it’ll make good story telling for your grand kiddies someday.”

  Mike settled back against a large rock. “You see Buster, back in ‘49, it was said that gold had been discovered in these here parts. Folks poured in from all over the country in hopes of finding their fortune, they came to our small town of Shilo like ants stirred out of a hole in the ground, thousands of em, in all manner of privation, some with only a shovel and the very clothes on their back. At the time, Shilo could only boast a handful of folks and a few old buildings but after the gold fever hit, well sir, the town split its britches seemed like overnight and became a thriving community…boom town they called it. But the truth is, not much gold was ever found; turned out to be more rumor than fact. Once folks caught wind, most of em pulled up stakes and headed up to Alaska where a big strike was said to have taken place. All that remained in town at that point were a bunch of gunslingers, gamblers, and thieves and it didn’t take long for the town to turn into a haven of lawlessness. Most prospectors who had any sense went off in search of greener pastures but of course there were a few stubborn old goats that still insisted on playing out their hand. One of these was Jedidiah Crane.

  “Now Jedidiah staked a claim for himself early on and stayed put, he tunneled deep into the side of one of these hills, but after two long years of backbreaking work he was no closer to striking it rich than the day he started. Tattered clothes and an old worn out mule was about all he had left to his name and to make matters worse he was slowly starving to death. He no longer made his monthly ride into town for supplies since he had no money to speak of and besides, it seemed that he owed everyone this side of the Pecos. A trip into town more than likely would cost him his life. Yes sir, it couldn’t have been more hopeless for old Jedidiah but little did he realize that his life was about to change in a most unexpected way… once of course he met the man in black! That night, Jedidiah sat by his camp fire brooding over his misfortunes when, out of frustration, he yelled into the darkness. ‘It ain’t like I’m a greedy man! I ain’t askin for a wagon full of gold or nothin!’ He brought his cupped hands up to his face and stared at them for a long while. His voice faded to a teary whisper. ‘I… I’d give anything for just two hands full of gold… just anything!’

  “Suddenly, out of the night came a deep unsettling voice. ‘Anything, Jedidiah?’

  “The words startled the old man and he fell off the log he was sitting on, he looked up and saw a tall figure standing on the other side of the fire dressed in a black suit and holding a long golden cane. The man’s eyes were black as coal and sparkled fiercely as they reflected the flame from the fire. Jedidiah pulled himself off the ground, ‘By cracky!’ he screamed, ‘Where in tarnations do a feller get his manners, sneakin up on a pore soul like that! Why… why you gave me enough fright so’s to stop my ticker for good!’

  “The man laughed and licked at his lips. ‘Yes…I seem to have that effect on most everyone I meet! Now then, Jedidiah…I thought I overheard you say that you would give anything for two hands full of gold? Have I quoted you correctly, old timer?’

  “An unknown fear crept into the old man but he was still angry about the sudden intrusion upon his property. ‘First off, how in tarnations had you come to know my name?’ he asked defiantly.

  ‘Now, now, Mr. Crane, simmer down or most surely your heart will fail you. All your questions will be answered in due course, but for now I must know if you meant what you said about giving anything for two hands full of gold.’

  “Jedidiah looked at the stranger and it seemed that all the hardships of the last few years came flooding back to his mind all at once. ‘Mister, you have any idea how long I’ve been bustin’ my back on this here God forsaken chunk’o land? It’s wore a feller clean out and I’m damn near close to starving to death! Darn tootin I meant what I said, there ain’t nothin I wouldn’t give at this point for two hands full of gold and that’s a fact!’

  ‘At hearing this a broad smile stretched across the man’s face exposing rows of razor sharp teeth. ‘Fair enough, Jedidiah Crane, by your own words a deal has been struck between us this very night!’

  “The stranger thrust the tip of his cane into the fire and kicked up a shower of sparks and burning embers high into the air. Jedidiah shielded his eyes and when he lowered his arm a few seconds later the man had completely disappeared. The old man stood shaking with fright and it was many hours before the patter of his heart would slow enough to allow him a few hours of much needed sleep.

  “The next morning, the sun rose bright and warm as usual and the old man stirred upon the ground. He blinked at the light that pierced his tired eyes and raised a hand to block the glare but at that instant it became clear that something was terribly wrong. His hand, as a matter of fact, both hands felt as though they were weighted down by lead, he slowly lifted them to his face and stared in disbelief. Both gleamed a brilliant gold in the morning sunlight as though they had somehow been dipped into a liquid vat of the precious metal.

  ‘Well I’ll be dagged!’ Jedidiah cried out, not understanding what had happened but it wasn’t long before he realized that the stranger the night before must have been Old Nick himself and, although he had been thoroughly snookered by the Devil, he had to laugh out loud at the craftiness of the old fellow. He certainly got what he had wished for… his two hands were without a doubt full of gold!

  “A rumbling suddenly came from deep inside the old man’s stomach, interrupting his thoughts. He was reminded once again of his most immediate concern, his dire need for food. He again stared down at his hands. By some blessing, he could still move his fingers but he had no feeling in them at all, which as it turned out was also a blessing. He had an idea. He picked up a small chisel and gouged at one of his fingers. The hardened steel made a large indentation but with no accompanying pain. A few minutes later, he was holding a finger in one hand and a hack saw in the other. He then took a hammer to the finger and pounded out its recognizable shape until it looked to be an ordinary clump of gold. He smiled at his cleverness. He would ride into town, afterall, for some much needed supplies.

  “Wearing a pair of work gloves to hide his abnormalities, he quickly made his purchases and left as quietly as possible, trying not to attract too much attention. That afternoon, back at the camp, he feasted like a king for the first time in many years. He was about to stre
tch out for a nap when a group of riders suddenly thundered into camp in a cloud of desert dust. The old man recognized some of the faces and quickly hid his hands inside his pockets. The riders dismounted and proceeded to turn the campsite inside out searching for the gold.

  “One of them walked over to the old man. ‘Say it ain’t so Jedidiah… you comin’ into town after all this time and not stoppin’ in to say hello!’ He grabbed the old man by the throat and his demeanor turned downright nasty. ‘Seems you been holdin’ out on us, old timer… word is that you done struck it rich and you ain’t got the common decency to stop round and pay your outstanding debts! Where is it old man? Where you hidin’ that gold?’

  “The man sported a scowl that could have curdled milk and immediately raised a tightened fist as if to strike, Jedidiah instinctively brought his arms up to shield himself and something flashed brilliantly in the sunlight, catching everyone’s attention. For a moment, the men were stunned at the sight but a second later all hell broke loose as they began pawing away at the old man’s hands trying in vain to somehow detach them.

  “One of the desperados managed to find the hacksaw that Jedidiah had used earlier and a short time later Jedidiah had been relieved of both his hands. He stared mournfully at the two gold tinged stumps at the end of his arms. The riders got what they came for and left in a whirl of dust and mocking laughter. The old man suddenly burned with rage. He looked around for some way to vent his anger and finally kicked a bucket with all his might into the side of the hill. The impact disturbed the soil and what was exposed caught the old man’s eye. He walked over and knelt down for a closer look. What he had labored for so long was finally staring him in the face. The rock underneath was streaked with a multitude of gleaming yellow nuggets!

  “He let out a shout. ‘Yahoo! I’m rich! By cracky, I finally hit the mother lode!’

  “He stomped his feet and did a jig but a moment later a cruel realization settled him into quietness. He stared down at his newly discovered gold then looked over at the pick axe that lay nearby then his eyes moved sadly back to his dangling useless stumps. A moment later a small laugh escaped his lips then grew in intensity. What scarce remnants of sanity he possessed after all these years quickly left him as he bellowed forth in a never ending strain of insensible laughter which echoed throughout the canyon and remained on the desert winds for all to hear, so they say, forever and ever.”

  Buster looked over at Mike and rolled his eyes. Mike just chuckled. “That was one hell of a crazy story, partner, but all the same, I just think the heat got to me today, that’s all. I’ll tell you one thing though, me and Jedidiah have something in common … he was and I am starving!” Buster scooped up a plateful of beans and handed it to Mike then loaded his own plate.

  “You know what would go great with these beans right now Buster?” Mike said wiping bean juice from his chin. “A nice frosty mug of beer! Mmm… I’d give just about anything for a cold beer about now. How a’bout you, pard?”

  “Amen to that!” replied Mike, but all of a sudden out of the warm night air came a distinct clinking of glasses which was followed by a deep unsettling voice that asked… “Anything, fellas?”